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Now that I’m in the final countdown days to meeting my next little one, I thought I would ask my fellow parent bloggers for their advice regarding the transition to two children. This is what they had to say…
- Vicky from Being Tilly’s Mummy says: Don’t feel guilty about giving one child more love than the other one. You will panic that you love one more than the other and you will feel guilty all the time that one is being left out. They are not, they both know how much you love them.
- Laura from Five Little Doves says: If you’re breastfeeding the new baby, make sure you have lots of activities/toys/dvds/bribes ready to entertain the older child.
- Olly from SavvyDad says: Remember that you’re not alone during toddler tantrum times and you can help yourself by trying to identify the cause of the tantrum which fall into one of four categories: frustration, attention, power and over-stimulation.
- Elizabeth from Where Roots and Wings Sent Wine says: I found babywearing a lifesaver. Having my new baby close and content on me in a wrap where I could breastfeed on the go if needed to meant I could still have lots of fun and adventures with my eldest.
- Victoria from Mummy Times Two says: Try to make sure you give each one a time during the week that is just for them so you can make each of them feel special.
- Kelly from Nature Mum Blog says: Baby wearing the second helped me. I was able to tend to my 2 year old whist carrying my sleeping baby. Don’t feel guilty on letting the older child become more independent. It is very tough to let go of your very precious first born but it is necessary for you to be able to give the newborn the attention it needs. Also it is tough for the first year but we are in our second year now and watching them play and help each other is the most wonderful feeling in the world!
- Rachel from Rachel Ridler Mum on a Mission says: Deal with the toddler first and the baby second – who will remember the crying most?!
- Kerry from Lived with Love says: My number one tip is baby wearing!!
- Steph from Mental Parentals says: Make the most of your time left with your eldest. Do fun things and go nice places (if possible). Also, try not to make most discussions about the baby when they arrive, but encourage your eldest to become your little helper.
- Jade from Raw Childhood says: One on one time with each child is key. I used to leave daddy with a bottle of expressed milk whilst I took my eldest to the park and for a hot chocolate or to an activity like free jumping etc so we could spend one on one time.
- Claire from Big Family Big Fun Blog says: Go easy on yourself. I found transitioning from 1 to 2 pretty simple (it helped that number 2 was really laid back), I found 2 to 3 harder. But saying that, just being realistic with yourself, especially in the early days.
- Faith from Much More with Less says: Encourage all the visitors to make a fuss of your older child, rather than just zooming straight in on the baby and ignoring the toddler. Put together a bag of toys and activities to bring out when you’re feeding the baby, so there’s less chance of the toddler wandering off.
- Clare from Emmy’s Mummy says: Let the first child help you or copy you. If you are changing nappies they may like to do the same with Dolls. My daughter spent ages Breast feeding her doll just like mummy.
- Rebecca from The Sparkle Nest says: Let your toddler help out if they want to. My little boy brings me the milk bottle if his baby brother is crying and I’ve shown him how to help change his brother’s nappy too. I find bath and bed times the trickiest as I’m a single mum, but I put my youngest in a bouncy chair at the moment and let him watch his brother having a bath, then he sits in his bouncer and I read them both a story while I give my biggest bedtime cuddles. After biggest has settled to sleep then I’ve got time to give the youngest his bath and maybe some baby massage. I agree that one on one time with both of them individually is so important, accept all the help you’re offered! It’s pretty non stop but it’s also a lot of fun! I’ve got 2 boys, 3 months and 21 months.
- Lisa from The Love of a Captain says: My first born (17mths) stopped talking for 3mths when baby came along. Also immediately stopped drinking milk because the baby was drinking milk. Random I know. Just take each day at a time and be patient with them both.
- Jennifer from My Mummies Pennies says: Involve the older child in decisions where possible, make sure they will have opportunities to help with the baby so they feel needed. My eldest was three when his little sister was born and he loved to ‘help’ with the baby, he wasn’t jealous at all and they have a fantastic bond now they are both older.
Thank you to everyone that contributed their advice on how to handle the transition to two children.
I’m not sure how much decision making I’m prepared to involve ThriftyBaby in haha but I do like the idea of having him help me and I particularly like Clare’s suggestion of encouraging him to copy what I’m doing. A few months ago this whole transition to two was really overwhelming me and felt very daunting, especially when I tried to think about the logistics of bath and bedtime when NotSoThriftyDad is away with work so I started to make a little overnight bag up of bits for ThriftyBaby to take with him to his grandparents when the big day arrives.
In preparation for ThriftyBaby to gain a sibling and go through his own transition to two, I bought him a little boy doll from John Lewis in the hope that he would learn to be gentle and try copying what I’m doing. I also got him a a book on becoming a big brother and a cute new t-shirt (only £3.69 with free postage!) so he feels special when he gets to meet his little brother. Fingers crossed it all works out for us and none of us find the transition to two too traumatic!